My Boobs Don't Produce

I didn't breastfeed our oldest son because I was 19 years old and thought it would be awkward. I just wasn't mature enough to see this act as a way to bond with my son. He was a formula baby. But man, my boobs were enormous compared to what I was originally working with. I wish they could have stayed that way forever.

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was going to breastfeed. I couldn't wait to experience it! I was only planning to have one baby in my womb!

Breastfeeding triplets?

They kept telling me it can be done. Either way I was game. I didn't feel like my breasts had become what they were with my first pregnancy. I had bought a breast pump from Babies 'R Us and it was just your normal little pump. I was ready to go! That contraption seemed wrong. Babies were born and I was ready. Since they were in the NICU I wasn't able to try breastfeeding them I had to start pumping in my room. When I put that little cone on my engorged breast and it started to suck the life out of it I wasn't sure if this was for me. I thought to myself, "Babies CANNOT suck this hard."

Oh and nothing came out but some yellow-ie crap that looked like egg yolk... Nurse claimed this was okay and the best part for the baby. I was thinking, "Whatever crazy. Take it."

I slept and pumped and slept and pumped. Went to the NICU... slept and pumped. I wasn't getting much but it went from yellow to yellow to light yellow to I guess milky color. I was finally able to let the little babies attempt to breastfeed.

I was in the NICU and I had one of the triplets trying to latch on to my nip and it was so damn hard to do. My nips hurt and the little mouth couldn't get it all in. So this nurse, the bossy one, came over and just grabbed my boob. I felt so violated and she just kept gripping it and maneuvering it. It just seemed wrong and all I could do was stare at her with deer in headlights look. After the initial shock I slipped my hand under hers and took back control of MY BOOB. I said, "Thank you, I'll take that."

I tried breastfeeding and pumping. It was hard especially when I returned to work. I was able to do it for about 5 months but I was not producing enough. And it was exhausting. Those moms who breastfeed until their kids are 16... PROPS. Not these mini jugs!

My nips cringe when I see one of these....

The Cost of Triplets

We had not actually planned much out at first. During the pregnancy we went to Babies R Us every weekend and purchased diapers for a little bit. It was scary to think about all the expenses we were about to add to our monthly bills. Lets start with formula.

In New York Enfamil formula cost $14.97 a can. They used about 9 cans per month per baby. That is 27 cans of formula a month. Total cost per month: $404.19

Thankfully, we used our resources. Women, Infant, and Children (WIC) was a GOD sent resource we were able to qualify for and use. To be honest, triplets are just as costly as you can imagine. Without this I'm not sure how we would have managed to get by. I was able to pump and use breast milk a long with the formula. I did not pump as much as I would have liked... I am not a cow. I saw this couple on a Baby Story and she had a storage freezer full of bags of breast milk. Her boobs were giant, at least an F cup, so my little As in relation pumped the right amount. 

We started cereal and baby food about the 4 to 5 month time. It was absolutely hilarious. Babies who don't know what to do when textured food are in the mouth is comical. 

I did buy a case or two of baby food from Amazon... they just seemed ready for baby food.

We made it through the baby food and formula stage... as the babies grew and ate more there were months were we had to purchase more formula or cereal. Now diapers were a whole other feat. That cost was insane! We had diapers stocked piled and it last for a little over 9 months. After this we bought 1-2 boxes of diapers every two weeks. We bought the largest box they had at Walmart and we really did our best to make them last. 

On a weekly basis here are the numbers:

• 7 diapers a day x 3 = 21 diapers a day
• 21 diapers a day x 7 = 147 per week 
• 1 box cost $19.77 
• Size 2 160 count
• 4 boxes for a 4 week period = approximately $80.00

Honestly, most people think we spend a fortune on diapers. It was surprisingly okay at the time. We also were just so happy to have them... cost wasn't always at the forefront of our mind. The baby smell had consumed us and were high on babies. 

Living in Triplet Bliss

Yes it truly was! We finally had everyone home by August 19th. Thankfully they came staggered and it was a nice and easy adjustment to adding more and more to our baby load. My husband, son, and I were enamored with the newbies. We all secretly had our favorite and it was off to the races. Here is what our schedule looked like:

Previous night:
Make bottles

8 bottles for the next day

If they had their last feeding at 10PM it continued...

2AM feed & pump

6AM feed & pump

10AM feed & pump

2PM feed & pump

6PM feed & pump

10PM feed & pump

Professional (Do not try at home.)

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

In between we napped, ate, watched TV, went to K'shon's football games. We never complained because were drunk on the smell of babies. 

There was no issues. It wasn't hard. They didn't move. 

I was never overwhelmed. I went back to work and came home to my people. GOD had filled our house with newness and creations in his own light. The first 6 months were a breeze! 

PTI (Pardon the Interruption)

Post by Multiple Multiples.

NICU... #reallife

After the very special time of having these 3 little people removed from my body. I was taken into recovery and I really only was able to see one briefly right before. I saw Kenzi. She was small and looked like a baby alien.

My time in the recovery area was epic... and not for me but for the others who had just had their baby. I was calm. I drank my water and listened. The very young girl next to me (we were divided by a curtain) kept bossing her very young boyfriend/baby daddy around. She didn't want to be cleaned and kept telling the nurses to call her baby by his father's last name. The protocol at the hospital is to call the baby by his mothers last name. They had different last names. They tried their best not to argue with her and I tried not to laugh, well, because it hurt. The nurse kept apologizing to me. There were other women in there, I think 5 of us total.

Once I was done, I rang the baby bell three times and they rolled my bed into the NICU to see them. I had never been in a NICU before and I did not notice much, except I couldn't believe my bed fit in there. I saw all three of my babies. Thankfully and prayerfully, they were breathing on their own.

Later, I was taken to a room and I slept! They came in and pushed on my belly, I hate that part. It hurts and then I gotta make a mess to top it off! That night I walked up to the NICU and noticed it all. The NICU is such a place of mixed emotions. The triplets were not all together in one unit. Kenzi was by herself. I saw her first. The nurse came over to me and was a little louder than I would have liked, but could appreciate her enthusiasm. She went on about how amazing she was doing. No problems. I wanted to tell her to stop talking. There was a couple sitting by their baby's bedside with their heads down. They could not touch their baby. He had so many things on him and coming out of him. I felt guilty for not just having a pretty healthy baby... but 3. It just didn't seem right or fair.

Angel and Ziya were in the same unit and doing well. Overall, our babies needed to gain weight! I was just in a space of surreal-ness. A few days later they moved Kenzi in the same unit as the others and they were together. Once I was released... I went home. I pumped and pumped. We went to the NICU everyday. A 40 minute drive there and back daily. I felt really bad for K'shon because he was not allowed to go in the NICU. We showed him pictures and he waited patiently for his brother and sisters.

Kenzi made it home on my husband's birthday, July 27th. We believe this is why she has the "baby" syndrome. She still believes the others are just visitors. Then came Angel on August 10th and before Ziya was able to come home she had a surgery to fix a hernia. She completed us on August 19th.

K'shon meeting Kenzi!

32 weeks... flood gates opened!

Well, I had celebrated my 29th birthday and made it to 32 weeks...

We went to Denny's and went home for an afternoon nap. Sure enough I felt the warmth of the beginning! My water broke! My husband said I had quit... LOL. Of course I had, the doctor said the goal was 32 weeks. My uterus heard what she had said too. It was 32 weeks to the day and we were done. I was stretched to the max, itching like crazy, and I wanted my body back. 

We packed the car up. Our little family of 3 in a Pontiac G6 (just bought it) and we were on our way. We video taped the car ride asking each other questions. So cute. I thought okay our babies will be coming. Nope. I arrived there and they put me up in a room. 

They had to give me magnesium to stop the labor. Administer steroid shots, in my butt, to develop the babies lungs... all while I have non-stop fluid exiting my body. Little did I know, they wanted me to stay pregnant as long as I could in the bed. EXCUSE ME. No I will not... but that magnesium stuff works. Labor stopped and I felt drunk. I ate bad hospital food, watched a 12 inch box TV, and peed by the liter. Seriously, the nurse told me she was amazed I could hold a liter in my bladder. I just couldn't feel it, so I held it. Good muscles! 

The days went by... I was in Syracuse and my fam in Morrisville. (40 minute drive) By the 4th going into the 5th day I knew these contractions were not gonna stop. They had already gave me medication to stop it two other times. These residents... made me think of the rambling wannabe doctors from Grey's Anatomy were in my room and were supposed to be checking my cervix. They do something to the bed where the part under my legs drops down and I am supposed to lift my legs up and open. EXPOSED again. The doctor checks me. Walks to the end of my bed and starts talking to the other doctor. 

Here is the conversation:

Dr. #1: "Have you ever delivered triplets?"

Dr. #2: "No, I delivered quads in Sweden."

Dr. #1: "Really. Wow."

Me: AHHHH, (grip bed) OOOOOOO, UGGHHHHHH... breathing. (Having major contractions spread eagle)

Dr. #2: "It was amazing the attending let me cut a sac open."

Me: "Who give a fuck!!!!" (under my breath... still open wide)

Finally I was giving my dignity back until they prepped me... well violated me again. Exposed. Shaved. Carted off. 

It happened so fast. 32 weeks 6 days. I was talking out of nervousness to anyone. I threw up. My husband had a video camera in one hand and digital camera in the other. 3 became 6 in matter of minutes. Ziya was born at 9:55 am at 2lbs and some ounces. Angel was born at 9:57am at 4lbs and some ounces. Kenzi was born at 9:58am at 3 lbs and some ounces. They took Ziya off right away. Did I mention there was about 10 people the delivery room. I did feel happy to hear cries and I waited impatiently for them. But I felt disconnected. I had pushed my first baby out no epidural. I felt the labor of that big head breaking the plane. 

                                      

I was amazed. I had witnessed GOD in front of my very eyes. I harvest and grow people! You cannot imagine what it feels like to have more than one life inside your body. You are out numbered before they arrive. My heart was overflowing. 

My Body was No Longer Mine!

Now that we had found out we were expecting triplets... it was time to EAT. I ate everything. Okay, really, it was time to grow. And that I did! I was 9 weeks when I started to take pictures of my belly. After waiting for 8 years for our next family members... we were so enamored with being pregnant.

 

The power of hormones from one baby is strong... triple it! I had the worst morning sickness. At 11 weeks... in the center picture. This was taken first thing in the morning before I stepped out to my office with a container of blueberries. I sat at my desk and ate the entire container. I promptly ran in the bathroom and threw them up... FYI, they looked different! We had doctor's appointments weekly until we were out of the first trimester. I felt great. So very happy and blessed. GOD chose me to carry these people. We announced to our family: 

  

17 weeks Bird's Eye View

I was having such a wonderful pregnancy. I was fearful about everything I had google-d. (Don't over research... everything becomes a symptom) I did have one thing that about made me go insane! Cholestasis of pregnancy! I itched... I would try to fight it but as I went on through the pregnancy it got worse. I used to hide a hard bristle brush next to my side of the bed. My husband always made me stop scratching if he saw me... but at night, I would get that brush out and scratch! I thought I was slick... it's dark and he can't see me but I guess scratching makes noise. 

And I grew...

On the 20 week appointment the doctor told me I measured at 40 weeks. I said, "Um, you know that is full term according to your "doctor books." So, now what... in my mind, I thought there is no possible way I was going to get bigger. But, I google-d triplet pregnant women, clicked images and guess what... YOU CAN GET BIGGER! By this time, I had not one single stretch mark. (No worries lady... they came at 25 weeks. I'm not immune. Or a machine.) We found out we weren't getting our wish of 3 boys. Two identical girls and one boy was on our order form! Check. Check. Check. 

Towards the end of the pregnancy we began to buy diapers every time we were paid. We would by 2 or 3 boxes of diapers. Those diapers lasted almost a full year! My husband took me to Babies R Us every weekend! We put cribs together and all the goodies. 

It was very funny, we had so many responsible, scary, real life questions and moments about the future during this pregnancy. With K'shon, we didn't really think of those things (such a difference between an 18 year old expecting to a 28 year old expecting). I never went on bed rest. I worked full time, I coached a high school varsity girls basketball team, and didn't skip a beat. I was tired, emotional, big, hungry, and moody. I had two of the greatest guys taking care of me. 

As I grew I counted down the days and knew we had to make it to at least 32 weeks! 

Congrats!

As we continued to focus on our careers and our son, we tired for a baby without expecting anything in return. On December 11, 2009, I had a positive test! We were more than excited! After hugging and jumping... oh, and a high five, we quickly came back to reality. We had already faced challenges. Miscarriages. Ectopic pregnancy. Come to find out more women experience miscarriages than I thought... I was so confused about miscarriages. It was something I had never talked about or researched. Nonetheless, here we were, pregnant. We told no one, made our doctor appointment and strapped in for the ride of a lifetime.

I was 5 weeks and the ultrasound showed two sacs! OMGoodness! Twins... The doctor said, "We see two sacs and this could mean twins or not. We will check in a few weeks."

So, here we go... 8 weeks! The appointment to see if there is two. The nurse walks in and asks me to get undressed from the waist down.

Of course I will. Let me get more comfortable and prepare to be violated.

Since I am not far along, the ultrasound has to be vaginal! (Not fun and why is does it feel so awkward when your husband is in the room). The screen was facing us... and there they are... two sacs (one with a one little seahorse and the other sac with two little seahorses). I say nothing, but I have google-d more than you can imagine in 3 weeks about twins and ultrasound and HCG levels. (I was an at risk pregnancy because of my history... I knew more than I should and I had doctor status.) The nurse quickly turned the screen towards her and said she would be right back. I looked at my husband and smiled because I knew he had no idea what was about to be told to us. When the nurse came back with a second nurse... they confirmed. The screen was turned back towards us and she said, "Well, there is two sacs. One with one baby. And the other egg split and there are two in this sac. Identical twins. Triplets." I giggled... laughed out loud, and she still had the "probe" thing inside my area. No one else laughed, maybe me laughing was inappropriate because I could feel the "probe" thing moving up and down from my giggles.

We left there and it hadn't set in yet. Three. Three. THREE.

One. And Identical twins.

Our first child we had in college and we were too stupid to think about... how are we going to feed him? What happens next? We have to pay for college?

Well, now... everything was scrambling through our minds! TRIPLETS.

Triplets.

In God's Time

Our little family of three had moved from Missouri to Texas to Pennsylvania to New York. We had tried for more children after college and just like an American I wanted it instantly. You know... go to your husband and say, "Um, I'll have a little boy nine months from now and yes I'd like fries with that." However, while his service is excellent I must say, it does not quite work like that!

Instead we moved and moved and I my uterus stayed vacant.

Finally, we just said, "Okay Lord, it is me, him, and the kid. I accept it!"

There is something to be said about faith. I grew up raised on the notion, if you pray for it you will receive it. Really up to this point I had.

As a woman who had had a successful conception, pregnancy, and birth... I was dumbfounded at the fact I was unable to get pregnant immediately. The first one wasn't planned and now, I'm planning and reading! It was a hard pill to swallow this might not happen!

My aha moment was just another failed month of trying and taking a look at my then 8 year old son and thinking he is perfect. He was healthy, smart, athletic, friendly, and spiritual... how could I need more. I dedicate my life to him, thank you Lord for him. Oh, and when he moves out I will only be 38! Bam, mama is about to party with my fine ass husband!

The Beginning - Cliff Notes Version

I am sitting here wondering how should I put into a small post my love story??? If you know us... then you know how we met and how I made my husband's heart skip a beat. HAHAHA. If you know him, you are laughing at the previous sentence.

We met in college. It is a small college in Missouri. It has grown a little bit by now but when we were there... I was living in the only female residence hall on campus. The rest of the residence halls were for male residents. I met him in the first week of school on the steps of MAC Hall. He was a wrestler (I had no idea what that meant... really) and I was there to play basketball. Needless to say, from day 1 our journey began and hasn't stopped.

Missouri Valley College, Marshall, MO

 

 

Then there was one! I became pregnant... continued school... was manager for my college basketball team during my pregnancy and was IN LOVE. 

We had our first son in April of our first year at Valley. K'shon. I had 18 credits that spring semester. My mother came to help me finish the semester. She was with us for our last 6 weeks of our first year. God made such an amazing woman my mom! 

So, our college career was full of love and family. We both graduated with degrees and college experiences we shared with some friends we still see today and others who we hope are having great lives! I played 3 years of collegiate basketball and he had an amazing wrestling career! (Team National Champs 2013) All while raising a very out going little boy. He was a ladies man... everyone knew him on campus. Sometimes he attended college classes and we were always at athletic events. 

Little did I know having a child while pursuing my degree was preparation for the Olympics of multi-tasking! We were typical college students with more responsibility. We slept in, ate late, took naps, went to parties, hung out with friends, and oh yea, went to class. K'shon went to daycare for 5 hours while we were in class and when both of us had something going on, our neighbor Brandy (I CANNOT THANK HER ENOUGH) took care of him. Her daughter Jewel and K'shon became little buddies. 

Jump to 2005 and we are on to our new lives together (college graduates in debt)... K'shon was 4 years old and we were married! He is now 13!

He was ridin' solo for 9 years. And then his life changed !

Oh it is about time!

So, many folks have told me the following:

• "You guys need a reality show!"
• "Are you having more?"
• "Why did you try again?"
• "I don't know how you do it!"
• "Do you sleep?"

And of course, the infamous... give me a nickel for every time I hear it...

• "You must have your hands full!"

No shit I do! Well, we do. We have 6 children in 3 pregnancies! A 13 year old boy, 3 year old triplets (boy and identical twin girls), and 1 year old twins (boy and girl).

 This is the start of something I should have done a long time ago. Not just to share with the many who have seen the spectacle we can be out in public at a Cici's Pizza or the dentist's office, but also because I will not remember what happened if it is not documented.

Seriously... I found my lunch container from two weeks ago in my car (my excuse for not taking my lunch and eating out). Just so you know, it is in the garbage because the mold in it... I'm not touching, even with soap. 

Follow our story... told by me (so you know it's true)!

By the way, I'm cooking dinner and typing at the same time!